Letting Go Of The Need To Be Understood.

For a long time, I wanted to be understood at all costs.

I mean that's the point of having a conversation, abi?

If you misunderstood me, I would explain.

If you still didn’t get it, I would argue.

If that didn’t work, I would over-explain.

And if I felt unseen, I would react.

Not because I wanted to fight.

But because I wanted clarity.

I wanted you to see my heart the way I saw it.

I believed that if I just found the right words — if I spoke long enough, hard enough, passionately enough — you would finally understand me.

Then one day, it became too heavy.

Too hot.

Too exhausting.

And my sister said

“If you know you had good intentions, don’t worry about what people think.”

At the time, I heard her.

But I didn’t fully live it.

It sank somewhere inside me,

Like a seed.

And life moved on.

Until recently.

Until I found myself in a situation that drained me in ways I couldn’t articulate.

Explaining.

Defending.

Replaying conversations.

Trying to make someone see what I meant.

And in that exhaustion, I remembered her words.

And this time, it clicked.

I realized that I had been fighting for something I could not control.

Because the truth is, a person can only understand to the extent and capacity they allow themselves to.

You cannot explain someone into emotional readiness.

You cannot argue someone into empathy.

You cannot defend your character into someone’s closed mind.

And that doesn’t mean there is spite.

It doesn’t mean there is malice.

It doesn’t even mean anyone is evil.

It simply means that sometimes, people see what they are prepared to see.

So now?

I speak.

I clarify.

But I no longer chase understanding.

If you choose to misunderstand me, I will not tear myself apart trying to fix it.

Because in my heart, I know my intentions.

And that is enough.